Wednesday, 26 November 2014

A Man Walks Into Starbucks

"A man walks into Starbucks and before he gets to the counter someone says to him you’ll never guess which eight celebrities used to be baristas and he tries to guess and suddenly he’s drinking coffee in Buzzbucks." - Pete Davies, from here

Online stores get away with a lot of stuff that would never fly in real life.

No, I don't want to do your survey. No, I don't want to hear about other weird things you want to recommend. No, I don't want you to tell me how to shop. No, I don't care about your membership plans. No, I don't want your advertising on my facebook feed.

"A man walks into Starbucks and he has to wait and watch a video but after five seconds he can go in if he starts skipping."

Noise in the real world is everywhere, but it seems like it's so much easier to avoid. You don't get pushy people asking for your email before you're allowed to enter the store. You don't get forced into watching some promotional piece before you can see what's on sale. And if I was just in a store, I don't see ads about what I was looking at all over my life.

If you want to get me to buy things, you have to make it easy for me. Don't make me sign up, don't ask for my personal information unless you need it for something directly related to my purchase. I tried to buy a digital album yesterday and they wouldn't let me buy it unless I gave them my home address and phone number. No, you don't need that, and I'm not trusting you with more data than is necessary.

It's time companies wake up and see why people are leaving their online stores. I love online shopping, but once I get a popup asking me to sign up for something, you can bet I'm running the other way.

The beauty of online shopping is that if I like your product, I can do a quick google search and find it somewhere else. I don't need to get it from you, and you can bet I'm not going to if you make me just through hoops to give you my money.

Check out more "a man walks into Starbucks" here.

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